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:iconamekumori:
The idea behind the story is really interesting. It provides a nice conflict for an XReader that hasn't been done much and brings a bit of history into the story nicely. I think it's something that could be turned into a series if you wanted to continue it.
A space between each POV change would make it clearer that that's what's going on and would make it a bit easier to read between the different POV changes. I think adding spaces might slow the flow down too because at times it seems a tad rushed. All in all though I liked it, nice job!
The Artist thought this was FAIR
11 out of 12 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconxarellaxdarkraix:
XArellaxDarkraiX Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student General Artist
I agree. Yet you could of also pointed one of the few flaws this story has, such as the fact that this doesn't give any backstory as to how the reader ended up tortured in the first place. Yes it explains that she had defied Russia and become a rebel leader, as does the title, but it gives no explanation on how this came to be.
As such, I do like this very much. But it was choppy.
And yes this was a critique of a critique of a story. No, I do not have premium, obviously.
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:iconshippudenbluekonan:
ShippudenBlueKonan Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, this comment seems rather similar to the critique I posted to this around the same time.
Odd, but whatever :XD:
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:iconxarellaxdarkraix:
XArellaxDarkraiX Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Merrrrp.
I agreed with your critique about five minutes after putting mine. C:
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:iconshippudenbluekonan:
ShippudenBlueKonan Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Ah, I see :P
Hehehe~ I was just curious, 'tis all :meow:
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